Look, what your body is saying?

Ahsan Azam
5 min readJan 3, 2021

How do we all the creatures transmit our signals? How do we transmit information to the other one? How does the other one or We ourselves come to know what the other person is saying to us or wants to say? How does someone’s empathy, or anger is manifested without even uttering a single word? And the list goes on…

The above-mentioned are some of the whole lot of questions to which there is only answer and that is, through Communication. Communication is of two types viz, Verbal and Non verbal Communication. Communication is about transmitting information, sending our signals, it’s about listening, it’s about empathy, it’s about giving respect or disrespect, it’s about everything And let me tell you, we think the verbal communication i-e, the words we speak is the real communication but the fact is otherwise as of the total communication, only 35% account for verbal communication, and 65% accounts for non verbal communication.

Non-verbal communication, simply put, is the communication made without words i-e, our body language. Body language is a language which is free from any regional boundaries, it can be comprehended by any individual from any region. Body language manifests itself through different ways, like through hand gestures, eye contact, legs, sitting posture, tone of voice, facial expression, finger pointing, nodding, etc.

Proper body language can win the heart of others, it communicates loads of information without uttering even a single word and may let you nail the job interview and thus land a dream job. It depicts your keenness towards something or someone, it mirrors your nature, it shows your energy level.

From a real life example, you enter home after a late night dinner, dad opens the door, he doesn’t say anything just a frowning on his forehead, and you understand what he actually conveyed to you. You enter a room with a smiling face, the other one would perceive you are a happy man, someone uses his tone to taunt you like, it seems as if you were in the bar tonight, and you get scared of being scolded, etc…

Here is a short account on different types of non verbal cues:

Eye contact: Proper eye contact with the one you are talking to, shows your confidence and belief in what you are saying and shows your interest in the conversation. It should be an appropriate way of eye contact, not the staring.

Handshake: Proper handshake that is,not too firm and not too soft is a good way to greet someone and show confidence. If your hand is under the other’s hand, it shows you like control, while if your hand hand is above the other suggests,you are more influenced and don’t like taking control. If you twist someone’s hand, it suggests aggressiveness, don’t do that.

Space: Maintaining a proper distance when communicating with someone as we should be mindful of whom we are talking about, for in different situations, it can hint to different signals like intimacy and affection, aggression, and dominance. For a loved one, its ok to be so close to him, but in a dispute condition, shortening your distance with the other one may show aggression, or in a simple conversation, invading others space may show dominance too.

Tone of voice: Your tone of voice in different scenarios may signal different clues like sarcasm, anger, affection, confidence, and your energy level. Sometimes you speak too loud in an intimidating way to give warning or to show anger or aggression, you use softer voice tone to show affection, you manipulate your voice tone to give off a sarcastic comment.

Just remember, ‘It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. When you speak, other people “read” your voice in addition to listening to your words’ (taken from an article online).

Facial expressions: Facial expressions show your emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, surprise, and disgust and they are the same across cultures. Smile to communicate friendliness, openness, and confidence. Slack face with little animation may lead the audience to think that the speaker is bored with his own speech and thus unable to motivate others to be interested. When delivering something serious or somber, a furrowed brow, a tighter mouth, and even a slight head nod can enhance that message.

This was just an extremely short account on non verbal communication. Both positive and negative negative body languages exist. But to grow in life, we need to adopt positive language, although to control some situations we need negative body language to come into play and do the work for us. Simply put,to show confidence, and openness, you need to be expansive rather than constrict your body like shrinking yourself with arms crossed or legs crossed, putting your hands in the side pockets, avoiding eye contact, limp handshake, etc.

Non verbal communication is such a strong medium that it shows your honesty and trustworthiness if you align your body language with what you are saying, if it’s inconsistent, it may show your disloyalty, your low confidence, your confused mind about the topic, etc…

So, you need to make your videos while speaking many times and observe how you are using your body language, is it going with the flow of the river or detracking…? After observing, let’s try to improve on our insufficiency to later on imprint our mark via a confident body language. So what’s your plan now?

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